The Lone Gigger

Last night I went to see Arcade Fire at the Alexandra Palace. However, I was in Japan when tickets were on sale, and not wanting to pass up the opportunity in case they sold out (which they did), I decided to buy one then and there. But I did not want to fork out twice or thrice the price to get extra tickets, in the hope that I could convince someone else to go to a concert months into the future, and get paid back for it. So it was a solo venture as I walked through the wind and rain from home to the venue, a grand place for a concert indeed (having seen Franz Ferdinand there two years previous in a similar state of loneliness).

So what does one actually do at gigs when you're on your own and waiting for the bands to come on? It's too expensive and time-consuming queueing to drink, yet I was too sober to start up chit-chat with strangers - no-one wants to appear too enthusiastic about the band, despite the fact that everyone there is a fan (otherwise, why would they be there?). Instead, you're left standing there on your own while groups of friends around you have vastly entertaining and interesting conversations you want to join in with but feel it socially inappropriate to do so; no one wants their evening spoiled by some strange nobody chiming in with their two cents like they're worth a dime (that's ten cents).

Well, pehaps not turning up early would be a good idea. Then I spent my time putting my coat in the cloakroom, looking at prices for food and drinks, then found a spot by the tech crew and waited. For 45 minutes. The good thing was that Alexandra Palace is perhaps the best venue in London to get a signal (what with it being the old broadcast centre), so mobile phone use was not a problem. The boredom was alleviated through a light bit of texting, something that just would not be possible in the more cavernous capital venues (at which point, not even faux-phone-fiddling - in which you pretend to be doing important things like sending or checking messages - would slide).

Maybe there should be some kind of gig-goer application on something like last.fm where it wouldn't be considered socially awkward to check who's going on their own. Perhaps you can hook up with a like-minded group of people - I mean, the band could be a starting point for just getting to know others. Could even expand into a dating service sort of realm - music is a personal thing, and if you share similar tastes in tunes, who knows? They could be 'the one'. But I digress...

Once the support acts were on, it was fine. You're among a crowd and the focus is on music rather than being a Billy No-Mates. While New Englanders Wild Light better fitted the bill as a warm-up, Liverpudlian band Clinic were perhaps the more entertaining band, even if they seemed to bemuse most of the audience. Living up to their name by wearing dark blue surgical outfits, Clinic's pounding mix of indie-punk-folk and strange strange vocals was creepy but interesting.

Arcade Fire themselves were stunning. An energetic, kinetic live show thanks to the brilliant visuals and lighting, and the rambunctious nature inherent with so many band members and instruments on stage. Lead singer Win Butler's vocals were drowned out during My Body Is A Cage and a teasing opening to a cover of Pulp's Common People never came to pass, but the rest of it was joyous. The anthemic choral nature of their songs lend themselves perfectly to crowd sing-a-longing and clapping which required little to no direction, such were the lyrics and music engrained within all the attendees. Including myself. So I guess I wasn't alone after all...

Bah, screw sentimentality and lessons learned. Next time, I'm forcing someone to come with me.

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Listening to: Clinic - Fingers
via FoxyTunes

Guess Who's Back? Needs A Scratch?

Flash forward three months and you find me here. In London. With macaroni cheese running down my kitchen window.

To briefly fill in the gaps, I'm now well into the first term of my final year at SOAS. The workload is pretty intense - I could easily coast by for the moment, but I know that preparation is key to survival. Or something. Being back from Japan is a little weird; I miss a lot of things about living there, but I missed a lot of things about living here too, so go figure (oooh, that sounded very early 90s). Despite all the pressing engagements (two essays for the end of term, dissertation deadlines to make, Japanese Language Proficiency Test Level 2), there's still time for frivolity. Well, there kind of isn't, but it gets you out the house, don't it?

Case in point - this time last week I was watching I'm A Cyborg But That's OK, followed by a talk with the director Park Chan-wook, who I believe to be something of a genius - and yet I've only seen two of his films. Well, three now. It was the closing night gala of the London Korean Film Festival, and his screen talk with Empire writer Damon Wise (via translator) was funny, frank and illuminating. I can't imagine many directors would be so honest about their early films, box office success and failure and the meaning of their work. I think he does a commentary on the Oldboy DVD which I should really listen to some time. Anyway, I review his latest on my review blog (yes, it's still there) here.

Another case in point - last Saturday, I went to see all 14 episodes of genius sitcom Spaced in one day in a grand comedy show marathon as part of the BFI's Channel 4 at 25 celebrations. In between the two series, we were treated to a Q&A with Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Katy Carmichael, Mark Heap and Julia Deakin, chaired by big-chinned, whine-voiced Radio Times film-prong Andrew Collins. Although Jessica Hynes (Stevenson) couldn't make it (leaving us a brilliant recorded message instead), it was a brilliant way to spend 10 hours. We even got to see Aida the Dog (aka Colin the Dog)! Interestingly, the episodes were taken from their original broadcast, so at the end, the voice announcer would keep telling us Frasier was coming up next. The Q&A session was the highlight - Nick Frost is a comedy genius par excellence, and I even got to ask a question. Well, no-one else was sticking their hand up, so off the fly I asked them what it was like having met and collaborated with film directors such as George A. Romero and Quentin Tarantino having referenced them in Spaced. Not a great question, but we got a nice anecdote about Edgar meeting John Carpenter in Virgin, both buying The Beatles' Help! on DVD. I also thanked them for putting Wells on the map with Hot Fuzz, to which Edgar punched the air and Simon asked me "Didn't you know where it was before?".


The bizzayness doesn't stop there. I'm running the SOAS Film Society every Tuesday night. So far I've shown Children of Men, Chung King Express, The Thing and Grizzly Man, with A Scanner Darkly due next week. Also, I'm hosting Tokyo Soundscape, my Japanese music show, every Friday 1-2pm, which can be listened to through Open Air Radio. I got myself a MySpace page for it, so please be my friend, or I will hunt you down and cut you. Kiddles!

And as for the macaroni...well, it seems that not only do we have a bedbug infestation and noisy stupid neighbours, but someone flung macaroni cheese on our kitchen window. It was still steaming as it congealed on the glass, and I didn't even hear it happen. One moment it wasn't there, the next SPLOK! As the window only overlooks our neighbours, it could only have been them; unless the people directly below us had especially good aim. Still, there's a Citizen's Advice Bureau round the corner which I'm hankering to pay a visit. Once I've stoppoed wasting time doing stupid things like blogging.

Ah! It's good to be back!

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Listening to: Fredo - Grande
via FoxyTunes

Bon Voyage Bullet Points

So I said goodbye to my dear mother and younger brother yesterday morning (after infuriatingly leaving behind a whole bunch of stuff they could have taken back with them, thereby easing my own luggage). You can view a variety of photos from the three weeks we spent travelling together on my Flickr collection, but for now, here's a brief rundown of some of the things we got up to during this time as best as memories serve (Hamish has a far more detailed journal he regularly updated during the holiday, which may prove a better testament to our experiences). Nevertheless...


Friday 27th July

• Early morning Shinkansen to Tokyo to meet up with half my family at their hotel in Asakusa. They've already done the temple and Ueno Zoo, so not bad going considering the jetlag.
• Take the Sumida River Cruise through Tokyo down towards Obaida, passing under multiple (supposedly interesting) bridges along the way
• Experience the madness of the Fuji Television Japan Broadcast Centre, which involved live shows, shops, stalls and stands related to TV shows I knew nothing about (having been sans telly all year)
• Meet up with Ian in the evening for dinner and drinks at Kamiya in Asakusa. As we exited, a fire patrol man entered the building with a stretcher, and a couple of drunken salaryman attempted some English conversation (as they often do).

Saturday July 28th

• Shopping in Akihabara, at various electronics and media centres.
• Bump into Nick and a friend of his there, having a post-Fuji Rock Festival day out.
• Visit Edo-Tokyo Museum for various real and reconstructed exhibits charting the history of the capital. Best bit: pretending to ride a penny-farthing!
• Weave our way through the crowds to find a spot for the Sumida-gawa fireworks festival. Some kind local punters offer us a tiny space to sit in a baseball ground, which felt like being in a concentration camp. Except with fireworks. And glorious ones they were, eliciting genuine gasps and wows. Knocked Tenjin Matsuri for six.

Sunday July 29th

• Election day is spent shopping in Shibuya. Breakfast in Starbucks overlooking 'that' crossing.
• Bump into Ricky Wilson, lead singer of Kaiser Chiefs, in a tiny T-shirt shop. A little sunburnt and bruised from their show at Fuji Rock Festival the night before (he was wearing a festival t-shirt), I would have loved to stop for a chat about Polysics, but thought it best to leave him to it.
• Just as we reach Harajuku, we're hit by a terrific downpour and vicious lightning bolts strike all around us, so we decamp under a subway entrance, then get brollies just as the worst has subsided.
• Weave through teeny shopping streets of Omotesando, then back into Yoyogi Park as the rain lets up to watch the rockabillies twist their hips, strike imaginary air guitar strings and slide about the place.
• Back onto Harajuku Jingu-bashi to see the cosplay crew out in force.
• Arcade games in Shibuya, followed by Ratatouille, which is the best Pixar (and by that token, probably CG-animated) film since Toy Story 2. Heart-warming, grin-inducing, and more mature than you'd ordinarily expect from a film featuring talking rodents.

Monday 30th July

• Final meeting with the Heiwa-Nakajima Foundation all by myself.
• Walk to Tokyo Tower for pics and postcards.
• Subway to Shinjuku and up to the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Offices for views of the city.
• Into the hustle-bustle of Shinjuku itself and explore the massive Takashimaya Times Square department store, from the basement food hall to the HMV near the top.
• Din-dins at an izakaya before returining to the government building for night-time cityscapes.

Tuesday 31st July

• Asakusa Temple and market, plus the wonders of the 100 yen shop and the Studio Ghibli shop round the corner.
• Into central Tokyo and a pilgrimage to the Godzilla statue outside the Toho building.
• A look into the aquarium outside Sony Plaza turns stomach-churning when a puffer fish decides to chew on the head of one of it's co-habitants and begins an off-putting brain-eating frenzy. Pizza for lunch...
• Spot a blimp on the way to Tokyo Imperial Palace Park. Walk through the grounds, hope for martial arts at the Budokan in Kitanomaru Park, but, alas, there's some concert going on (didn't know any of the artists except someone from the Backstreet Boys was DJing apparently - there's a mark of quality if I ever saw one).
• 'Do' Yasukuni shrine for the controversy factor.
• Tokyo Dome and the Koraku-en Amuseume Park offer night-time thrills. The Thunder Dolphin rollercoaster is just as fast as ever, GeoPanic is an underground (read: dark with flashy lights) trip to the centre of the earth, but scariest attraction was easily the horror house experience Yami no Shika Byoutou (Dentristy Ward of Darkness). Taking place in The 13 Doors area that Harry visited in 2004 and sponsored by The Grudge 2, Hamish and I had to navigate terrifying corridors while examining corpses for evil teeth. While others took their time, we kept our heads low and ran, trying to avoid the monsters popping out to make us 'fill' our pants. Abso-bloody-lutely terrifying, but so much fun.

Wednesday 1st August

• Shinkansen in the morning all the way down to Fukuoka (with a stop at Shin-Osaka). Make a brief stop at the City Disaster Prevention Centre if only for a chance to use the wind tunnel and earthquake simulators. Turned out to be the best thing we did all day.
• Reach Fukuoka's rather soulless sea front with obligatory 'big tower' and baseball dome.
• Decide to walk to the largest ferris wheel in Asia. Bad idea. Must have taken us about an hour and a half, plus a wrong turn thanks to near identical naming for two completely different places. Once we get there, we ride it round, then leave soon after, taking the bus this time.
• Train down to Kumamoto, arriving in the evening.

Thursday 2nd August

• Q. Why did the castle swear uncontrollably? A. It had turrets. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...
  
• Moving on, we visited Kumamoto Castle amid temperamental weather. As we walked onwards to the Former Hosokawa Gyobutei Samurai Villa, the wind and rain became truly dreadful, and it was only when we went to the train station to check departure times that we discovered a category 5 typhoon had hit Kyushu and we had been sight-seeing during it. Decamp into a nearby arcade for blister-inducing Taiko no Tatsujin 10 (of which my mother became quite a fan).

Friday 3rd August

• Errands and such in the morning, Suizenji-koen in the afternoon. Most of the rest of the day was presumably spent in the covered shopping arcades of Kumamoto.

Saturday 4th August

• Fine weather for our trip to Mt. Aso, but the previous days' typhoon had caused a signal failure at one station, meaning what should have been a journey of half an hour or so lasted some three hours instead. Frustrating doesn't begin to cover it.
• Eventually make it to our arrival station, then bus it up to the cable car station, then cable car it up to volcano creater, foregoing lunch (I know! Lunch!).
• Weather reaches its peak of excellence as we reach the crater, and watch the bubbling water and smoke plumes rise from within. Beautiful, epic, prehistoric landscapes (and Japanese girls dying to have their picture taken with yours truly).
• Long journey back to the station, but forego trains for a good old coach (though that's almost half an hour late).
• Arrive at Suizenji-koen again with about 40 minutes left of Takigi No (No theatre performed by firelight, which only takes place here once a year). Makes little sense and is somewhat repetitive (40 minutes is just about enough really), but remains engrossing and atmospheric.

Sunday 5th August

• Trains to Fukuoka and onto Hiroshima. Our hotel is 2 minutes walk from the Peace Memorial Park, which we then visit to observe the preparations taking place. Meet Catherine, helping with the organisation, who just so happens to be an ex-Sheffield University student who also studied at Doshisha for a year (instantly connected with the Matsumoto-sensei namecheck) and was now on the JET program, so knew Josy. Coinkydink!
• Take a look around a packed Peace Memorial Museum (naturallement). An old Japanese man strikes up a conversation with us about how he was a student when the bomb was dropped, but he was working in an arms factory at the time, so he was spared (although his mother died - his house was where the park is now). He then offered to send me various materials on his peace foundation, which was very generous, arriving soon after we got back.
• Wander about the park some more, visiting the various sights it's renowned for, while workers set up stands and stages, press crews position cameras and orchestras rehearse.
• Dinner in Okonomiyaki Mura, a building filled with numerous okonomiyaki counters. Naysh.

Monday 6th August

• Wake up early to a rumbling downpour outside, but it had luckily ceased by the time we left the hotel to attend the Peace Memorial Ceremony from 8am. Music, speeches and wreath-planting, followed by a minute's silence as the bell tolled to mark the exact moment the bomb was dropped. Then, scores of doves (pigeons, actually) were released. Unexpectedly, PM Shinzo Abe, still reeling from the election results, was in attendance and gave a speech reinforcing the three non-nuclear principles Japan followed, though the Mayor of Hiroshima's emphasis on leaving the constitution as is must have caused a little tension between them both.
• Take the tram to Miyajima port, and board the ferry to the island, where we encounter the resident deer who, unlike their Nara counterparts, are not allowed to be fed, so they end up trying to eat out of bins and tourists' pockets.
• The tide was out, so we could walk quite close up to the famous floating torii for some good photo opportunities, then we headed up to Senjo-kaku, an unfinished but impressive hall and pagoda combo.
• Walk around Itsukushima-jinja, marvelling at the teeny crabs beneath us.
• Trek through the woods up Mt. Misen, board a cable car offering fascinating views of the forest beneath us, and then across the Inland Sea, which was simply breath-taking. Plus, at the top, there were a bunch of monkeys, lazing about in the shade and picking bugs out of each other (and some of the deer there too).
• After leaving the island, we saw spectators watching a sport of some kind taking place in the water. Our investigations revealed it was speedboat racing, which sounds mighty cool, but in actuality looked rather dull, just watching boats zip round in a loop again and again.
• Take a seat in front of the river next to the A-Bomb Dome and watch the Peace Lantern Ceremony as hundreds of paper lanterns are floated down the river (some more successfully than others).

Tuesday 7th August

• Travel to Himeji in time for lunch and a visit to the castle. Blazing hot, but certainly worth the effort (and having watched You Only Live Twice three times in the space of a couple of months, couldn't help noticing some of the ninja training locales).
• Koko-en gardens and ex-samurai quarters provide a chance to gather ourselves before heading back to the station and onto Kyoto.
• Check in at the hotel right next to the station, then meet up with various buds at Kyoto Tower Beer Garden to bid Baptiste farewell. Don't drink or eat enough (thanks to time limitations and constant photo-taking), but it's followed by gaming sessions, purikura, ice cream and, ultimately, all-night karaoke in a psychedelic ocean-themed disco room.

Wednesday 8th August

• Meet up with Mama and the Mish for a walk around Shijo and Gion, then through Yasaka-jinja and Maruyama Park (home to some very peculiar ducks) en route to Kiyomizu-dera. Much the same as my previous visits, but before we go, went into a little temple before the entrance in which you navigate through corridors in pitch darkness, supposedly symbolising being in the womb of some deity or other. Not quite sure, but worth 100 yen anyway.
• Shopping in Shijo arcades and a walk down Nishiki food market and Ponto-cho is followed by yummy yakiniku (though a dead rat outside the restaurant didn't really sell the establishment very well - "Poor Remy", as Hamish remarked).

Thursday 9th August

• Nara - deer love crackers. Whether it was because it was too hot or it was a weekday, not sure, but Nara wasn't busy at all, meaning the attractions were not as heaving as I was worried they would be. Visit the Todai-ji, squeeze myself through the hole in the pole round the back of the Daibutsu (though I reached a point where neither my arms or legs could touch the ground, so I needed to be pulled out the other end).
• Views from the Nigatsu-do balcony and a chance for some rest before a lantern-lined walk in the woods. Kofuku-ji pagoda, turtle action at Sarusawa pond, then more delicious okonomiyaki. As we leave, the night illuminations have begun, but, figuring it's just going to be everything we've seen during the day, but with little lights hither and thither, we call it a day.

Friday 10th August

• A call from the International Centre at Doshisha (I'm too appear in more promotional material for the university) coincides with a visit to Imadegawa campus, and Mumsy and Hamish get a chance to sample the tastes of the canteen. Dip into Tsutaya to rent a movie, then hop on a bus to Kinkakuji. Or at least, I got very confused, and we took the bus to Ginkakuji instead. But what the hey, we ended up catching them both that afternoon, so it all turned out okay.
• Head to Mukaijima to give a (brief) tour of my room. Hamish stays the night, so we go to the wacky shop round the corner, buy some McDonald's and watch Godzilla vs Destoroyah. Ilan comes round a little later and goes a bit bonkers while we watch YouTube videos into the wee hours.

Saturday 11th August

• Slow start, but get into Osaka for lunch, and visit geeky stores, like electronics shops and the Chax Colony in Amerika-mura. End up in the long arcade and go on a spending spree in Book Off, getting second-hand movie pamphlets and DVDs on the cheap.
• Take a peek in Mike's Store (the place with the Predator statue outside) and K-Optix (the place with the Cucumber Hendrix figure, which we sneakily snap, deflecting staff assistance concerning eyewear).
• Walk through Den Den Town and brief stops in Super Potato and Retro Game Revival to look at the stacks of console crap and play Virtual Boy.
• Meet with Mother (who has spent a very hot day temple-hopping in Kyoto), and walk about Dotombori, where we have dinner, giggle at the dog café, observe the pretty neon (much of it now themed around the upcoming world athletics tournament to be held in Osaka) and play a few arcade games.

Sunday 12th August

• Arashiyama is today's destination, and a lovely day for it too. Watch some fishing, then go for a relaxing boat trip on the Hozu River.
• After lunch, we head to Tenryu-ji for it's lovely garden, then walk through the bamboo groves behind, stop at a station for shaved ice-cream, then get horribly lost on the way back, thanks to just not taking a right when I should have done.
• Back into Shijo for karaoke (a chance to show how I've improved over the course of my study year abroad), then a few more arcade games before bed.

Monday 13th August

• Final shopping in Shijo, then a purikura session at Namco Wonder Tower, which results in some frightful editing and rakugaki afterwards.
• Fushimi Inari-taisha in the late afternoon/early evening. Spiders, cats, snakes and bats give it a 'witch's cauldron' atmosphere and it's a tiring climb to the top for views of Kyoto, but we make it (well, Hamish calls it quits two flights of steps from the goal).
  
• Dinner at Fujinoya on the balcony overlooking the Kamo-gawa. Small portions, but so many courses (not all of it to our tastes, but the tempura was delicious).

And that's about it. I realise now that I really actually don't have much time remaining at all. I had expected to do a lot more relaxing this week, but there's still a few time-consuming chores to get done (mostly packing and writing my final foundation letter), so I may have to leave more final thoughts-style blogs until I'm back in Blighty. Until then, toodles!

The Parting of the Ways

My time at Doshisha has drawn to a close. Today was my last day of attendance, and I overslept. Goes to show just how tired I have been all this year, but especially the past few weeks. Luckily, a call from Baptiste woke me up, and I made it to the classroom just in time for my penultimate test. After the final exams, I handed in my final report, and then went to the little luncheon party for us foreign students were I said many goodbyes, some only temporary, some most probably permanently, and the rest? Well, we'll always have Facebook. Still, I had a fun evening in Osaka with a few buddies watching the climax of the Tenjin Festival, perfectly positioned to watch the spectacular fireworks burst over the festival boats on the river below. It was quite a send-off. Tomorrow will be spent alerting the country to the fact that I will be departing soon, via the bank, the ward office, the internet company, etc.

As I'm off to Tokyo on Friday morn, I won't be able to attend the big farewell party (all for Josh, apparently) that evening, which is a bummer - but there will still be a few people sticking around once I'm back in Kyoto. Of course, the reason I'm going to Tokyo is to begin a big Japan trip with my mother and younger brother (Hamish, in case you don't know), both of whom I haven't seen since September, so that will no doubt take my mind off my final farewells. I probably won't be posting much while we're travelling, but I'll be back in Kyoto on 7th August , so perhaps a blog and Flickr update will be in order then. They'll be off on the 14th, and I finally leave on the 20th, so during that time I hope to post some final thoughts (Jerry Springer-style) on my time in Japan. No doubt this blog, plus RoryView, will continue beyond my time here, but please leave comments and give me feedback just to know that this isn't completely worthless and I'm just doing this to appease my creative spirit (or swollen ego).

So this week is a time of joy tinged with sadness. Or maybe sadness tinged with joy. I'm both happy that my exams are over, I'm about to embark on an amazing journey, see family members for the first time in months and I will soon be going home. But also genuinely upsetting just how many people I'm going to miss. It's not that my fellow Doshisha (and assorted other institution) buds have just been filling a void left by my SOAS compatriots, scattered throughout the land, but more that they have joined their ranks - extending the rich tapestry of solid-gold ladies and gentlemen I can consider genuine friends.

Perhaps this ambivalence can be summed up in this advert for 24: Season Six, posted outside the Imadegawa Tsutaya (strange how one of my last Japan posts involves 24 advertising much as one of my first posts - I have come full circle). My feelings towards this season reflect my feelings now (first half: so good; second half: not so good), and the advert seems to have captured this somewhat. Clearly Jack Bauer is not a happy bunny in this picture and appears to be shouting or screaming, but what is written here is certainly not what would have been the first exclamation to enter my head. It's kind of a pain/pleasure sensation of sorts:



Thanks to all my Doshisha and Kyoto chums (students and staff alike). It's been emotional. All good things, indeed.

On Thin Ice

Apologies. After promising to open up the floodgates of blogginess, such a torrent of day-to-day happenings has recently been curtailed by homework, presentations, essays and revision. However, today I have a little chance for a breather to spill my guts about our little ice-skating trip the other weekend.

Alice, Nick, Ilan, U-chan, Parn, Baptiste and Meeee got up at a semi-reasonable hour to board the lovely faux-old-fashioned Hankyu railway cars to Osaka. We navigated our way through the rather soggy weather to Namba Parks, which was really just your typical Japanese mall (typical meaning swish and fancy), and after a long-awaited pizza and pasta luncheon, we made our way to the Namba sports centre. It took us a while to work out how to use the umbrella locks to stow away our brollies in safety, and then we proceeded to the basement where the ice rink was situated.

So, I've never ice-skated in my life, and the only other people who shared my level of experience had had far more extensive roller-skating/-blading experience in their early years than I had done. It's not like I was deprived as a child, but more that strapping wheels to my feet wasn't an experience I had been too fussed about. And plus, it's for girls. I hoped my recent snowboarding skills I had picked up in Hokkaido would see me through (what? Ice? Snow? The same thing, right?). Having eventually found boots the right size for me and purchased some cheapo 'one size fits all' gloves (that one size is 'junior'), we headed out onto the surface, only to be ushered off seconds later as it was time for the resurfacing machine to do it's job. Great false start. But finally, it was time to hit the rink. And hit it I did. Again and again and again.

Us noobs hadn't received much tutelage upon our initial steps (read: skids), and while the pros offered us hints and tips, admittedly a lot of it you have to work out for yourself. U-chan and Ilan picked it up quite quick, while myself and Haruna (who'd joined us at the rink) struggled to make our legs work properly. I'd manage to push off on the right, but leave the left dragging behind, or vice versa. And looking at what you are doing with your feet means you are not looking where you are going. Which is kind of crucial really. The problem was that the slower I was going, the harder it was, but the faster I went, the probability of injury was greater. And boy howdy did it hurt. Over the course of a couple of hours, I had maybe two minor falls, but at least four really big ones. That doesn't sound too bad, but I only managed a few laps in which I did not feel like I was going to fall over at any moment. And the constant lappage was making me feel a little dizzy too.

My big falls were pretty spectacular though. I think it was twice where I fell flat forward and skidded on my belly a bit, but the real bad ones where when I was falling backwards onto my arm, shoulder, back, leg and arse - all at once. I was wearing a helmet, but unfortunately, they didn't have any arse helmets around. I had been keen to continue for another half an hour, but as soon as I said that, I had a terribly painful fall and could barely stand afterwards, let alone skate to the exit. What's more the staff on hand just skate past you and ignore you - no "Are you okay?" or "Do you need a hand?". They probably just think "Pff...Stupid amateur gaijin...".

I guess the really tricky part was both trying to skate properly whilst not hitting anyone else - and changing direction or stopping without causing myself to fall was a real challenge. The vast majority of punters were pretty adept at the skating thing, with a small few external to our group embracing the ice as I did. Plus, lots of tiny kids who had a habit of doing spins and such directly in front of your skating line. There were also a few representatives of figure skating teams from various Kansai universities, and I'd hate to crash into them and be the one to put an end to their burgeoning sports careers. "No Olympic Games for you, chum!" We also noticed that a significant number of patrons were old men whose sole purpose of being there seemed to be giving skating tips to young pretty girls. Sure, you're taking the grandchildren out for exercise! You just want to pick up chicks by teaching them how to do backwards lemons.

Well, I left with aches and pains that would worsen and remain for the next week, but kind of pleased. I never reached a stage where I was relaxed or comfortable, but it was fifty-fifty fun and frustrating. And all the pros gotta start somewhere, right? As I walked out, my feet were making sliding motions rather than taking proper steps - much as a prolonged trampoline session warps one perceptions of the foot-ground relationship. And from one dicey icey enocunter to another.

I was assaulted for the first time during my stay in Japan. YAY! I can safely say that it was far more of a bewildering experience than an intimidating one, just because the situation was so unexpected and came out of nowhere. To set it up, most of the others had gone home, but Ilan, Baptiste and I stayed for a quick trip to Yodoyabashi Camera for a webcam, The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass on Nintendo DS, and just because I hadn't been there myself, respectively. We then boarded the train back to Kyoto, and took a seat, when Dries appeared in the same carriage and stood in the aisle chatting with us. Ilan and Baptiste dozed off, while I talked to Dries about our day, his drinking plans for the next few days, and general studying banter.

About halfway into the journey, during our conversation, I crossed my legs. Now, I can't work out whether I brushed the leg of the passenger to my left or not, but he certainly reacted in such a way to suggest it. I offered an apology, and continued chatting. Then all of a sudden, he pushed my leg off my knee and started mouthing off in a slurred incomprehensible fashion (granted, my knowledge of Japanese swears is limited, but I couldn't work out any components of speech beyond a grunt). Then he pushes me again, and grabs his umbrella in what could have been an attempt to strike me with it, but Dries deflected it out of his hands, and tried to calm the situation. By this time, Ilan had stirred and suggested moving but I wasn't going to let some schmuck get the better of me. I again tried to ignore him and resumed talking to Dries (though I was trying to work out where I was in the conversation, I thought saying anything would show this joey I was resolutely non-plussed). But then he grabbed me by the ear, trying to dislodge the headphone which I had been listening to at low volume during my chat. That was too far in my book, so I resisted, gave him a look...and then kept on talking to Dries.

Luckily, the muppet got off at the next stop, barging past Dries with his satchel as he left (despite Dries being clearly a foot taller and certainly the one to bet on if it came to blows). It was all rather strange. My heart was pounding and adrenalin rushing, but it goes to show how well I've been brought up that I didn't deck him in straight away (though on the train home, all I could think about was socking him one). I just couldn't work out what his deal was. He was probably late 30's, early 40's (with some bizarre white whisps of hair above his lip, rather than what you could call a moustache), in dressed-down suit attire. I might not have been as suprised if he were a drunken salaryman on the way home from work, but it was a Sunday afternoon. Maybe he was upset about the rainy weather? Or he didn't like it that two foreigners were yapping away happily in words he couldn't understand right next to hime? According to Dries, while I continued to ignore him, he was simmering away and gripping his umbrella in a "I'm going to smack you one" sort of fashion. I think if that had happened, we'd easily have taken him. I mean, what did he expect to come of it? It's not like the other passengers were on his side - most shimmied down the seats, and afterwards a few were smiling in disbelief about what had just transpired, just as I was doing. I've never seen such smouldering rage emerge from someone that way before, let alone over something as trivial as brushing his leg and apologising. So, although it's the second worst case of assault I've received on public transport, it was certainly less scary than any of the times I've been only threatened with assault. I guess Osaka's thugs and punks have a long way to go if they want to compete with London's crooks.

Geez, just typing all that has got my blood boiling. Best to chill out again with the new refreshing beverage that's sweeping Japan-centric blogs across t'internet. The other week, I went into the FamilyMart oppostie the university before lessons for a bit of brekkie. I had just had some delicious Tropicana Golden Harvest (pineapple, kiwi, apple, grape) a few days previous, and was hoping to buy another. But shock horror! It had gone, and been replaced with PEPSI ICE CUCUMBER! WOW! I guess the Pepsi guys were like:

"Gee, you know the phrase, cool as a cucumber?"
"Sort of..."
"How about we make a cucumber-flavour soft drink?"
"Oooookayyyy"
"No, hear me out! Chicks get facials, right? At health spas. And they stick cucumbers on their eyes, you know? Well, cucumber equals healthy! And the chicks will dig it too!"
"But where in the world would an idea this crazy be accepted..."

Thus, Pepsi Ice Cucumber arrived in Japan, and the wacky legend was born. I'm pretty sure that's how it went. Either that, or some mad experiment gone wrong care of Professor Pepsi's laboratory. It's just another in a long line of stunt beverages but I just had to give it a try. I had left it chilled in the fridge over the weekend, but plucked up the courage to try it tonight. The bottle itself informs us that cucumber is the English for kyuuri (the Japanese for cucumber). It then follows with a sentence that translates as "Cola and Cucumber, surprising combination of refreshing cola!". As you can see from my expression upon holding it, I asked myself, "Can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand, a beverage of purest green?!"

It takes a few twists to open, but when it does, the rush of fizz is surprisingly loud and disconcerting, like that of a cannister of evil ooze being released. It's super bubbly, and a closer look at the colour reveals it's green to be less of a limeade green, and more like the monkey-micturation in the 'Apes of Wrath' episode of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Or at least Listerine. Not a good sign. Oh, but the smell! Now that was very cucumbery, and rather sneer-inducing. But I thought, what the hell, and took a few large gulps.

Initial thoughts? Not too bad. The taste was far too sweet to be that much like cucumber, which is probably a good thing. I love cucumber, but I really don't think it has a place in the beverage market (except maybe a slice or two in a Pimm's). A further swig suggests it's like a mix of cola, bubblegum, citrus and mint - perhaps better suited to the washing-up liquid aisle than the soft drink one. A bit too clinical. Still too sweet and fizzy for my likings; it makes for big belches, and it passed through me so quickly, I had to tinkle before my glass was half-empty. So I probably won't buy it again (not even sure I'm going to finish this bottle - a third through and I think it's already got the better of me, though that's better than some of the more day-to-day drinks offered in Japan). Still yet to give Kodomo no Nomimono a go, though - it's basically beer for kids. Well, no alcohol, all it really amounts to is bubbly apple juice with a foamy head. No worse than candy cigarettes, that are still in plentiful supply here in Japan, in original, chocolate and cola flavours to boot (though what the guy said in Super Size Me about 'Brand Imprinting For Later Actuation in Life' is ringing in my ears).

More skating pics on Parn's Facebook page! My own Flickr updates soon! I'm going now, bye!