Friday 22nd - Saturday 23rd December: Second Royal at Metro, Kyoto
Having become something of a fan of Halfby, I was keen to see him and the rest of the Second Royal crew celebrate the end of the year live in Kyoto, and on the night we finished our lessons for the Christmas break. Perfect timing! Well, better timing than I had when I went there. I'd never been to the club before, so to scope out the place before others arrived, I got there half an hour early. When they said it was by Keihan Marutamahi exit 2, they weren't lying - it clearly was called Metro for a reason. With music playing, but no one on the front desk, I decided to take a look inside, and walked in, no questions asked, to see a band warming up. It took a few minutes before someone came up and told me politely they weren't open until 10pm. Never mind! I went for a walk, and then met Brett at the station for the proper entry time. Being one of the first to arrive, we each got an exclusive compilation CD (plus everyone got a badge with Thames Beat written on it, which I later discovered to be a Britpop-influenced Japanese quartet). As other friends arrived, we got some drinks, got some seats and enjoyed the festive selection of tunes on offer (and I brought along my flashing Ho-Ho-Ho! Santa hat, which got some nice comments).
Then, we got a selection of live music from a number of bands who all seemed to be composed of members from each other's bands (the drummer in particular popped up for all four of them). First was Meton Milk (pictured), my favourite of the evening, offering Supercar-esque rock that had just about the most perfect sound levels I've ever heard for a live band. Next was solo guitarist Satoru Onu, who I think was singing in English, but always had a look of intense paranoia in his eyes that was somewhat offputting. Still, he got better as the tunes got more rock and roll. Then came Wednesday, perhaps the happiest two guitarists I've ever seen. Their chirpiness and constant grinning would no doubt win over X-Factor voters. They were then joined on stage by a new lead singer to become the band Rufus (see what I mean about interchangeable band members?), who were the biggest hit with the crowd thanks to their easy, sunshiney, very marketable pop-rock. Throughout the live bands, I chatted with a few of the other attendees, particularly Paul Weller fan Datsu, his girlfriend Ri, and some guy who just kept saying "I'm Crazy!".It was also during this time that we noticed our star dancer of the evening, a middle-aged Japanese man dressed in black, who was the very definition of 'fish out of water'. He spent the entire evening in the middle of the dancefloor, his eyes apparently closed, lunging his head slowly from side to side towards those around him, sometimes getting right in their face. Sometimes, he'd even include a bizarre hand gesture. It was both hilarious and a little creepy, particularly when his moves were in the direction of the ladies, but we figured he was too out of it to be of any real threat.
It was past 1am before the DJ sets began, introduced by Second Royal M.C. O.S.A. dressed up as Santa and swigging a 1 sho bottle of sake (1.8 litres), which he would later offer up into the crowd when he hit ground level (I dutifully agreed to much appreciation). First up was Fredo, and from that instant I was sold on the Second Royal party experience. Terrific choice of tunes and exactly the kind of music I was after. Plus, I managed to grab a remix CD of his thrown out into the crowd (which didn't get released until a week or so later). By the time Halfby (pictured) came on, the crowd was smashed and sweaty, but that didn't stop some truly rambunctious behaviour. Myself and Brett ascended to a table above the crowd, and our synchronised dance moves (joined by a perspiring topless Japanese fella) drew much attention from our fellow party-goers. When a bizarre remix of Itsy-Bitsy-Teenie-Weenie-Yellow-Polka-Dot-Bikini played, my knowledge of the lyrics astounded many. Indeed, there were a great many tracks I knew, from Franz Ferdinand to Fatboy Slim, Beastie Boys to The Jam. But there were also a lot of English-language tracks the Japanese contigent knew word for word, but had never passed my ear drums before. The DJs were all terrific, but what really got the crowd going was the free-for-all nature of the event as we headed into the wee morning hours. They all intermingled with the crowd, attempting a number of stage dives (unsuccessfully), hugging, high-fiving, pointing and air-guitar-playing like crazy. It all came to an end around 5.30am, but I managed to get a brief drunken thanks from the M.C.. As I was leaving, I also stopped Halfby and fellow DJ Handsomeboy Technique for a brief chat. Halfby was elated when he found out I'd listened to his album and that he had a gaijin fan! He said that I should come to their next show in January - a very tempting invitation.
Indeed, the party at Metro was one of the best nights clubbing I've ever had. The music was absolutely spot-on throughout, everyone was so nice and friendly and the atmosphere was that of jovial jubilation. And I made the front page on the website - well, at least my arm did (the Polysics sweatband was good for something after all). We made the slow trip back to Mukaijima, and slept through most of the day. We needed the energy of course for tomorrow was...Sunday 24th December: Universal Studios Japan
Myself, Ilan, Parn, Baptiste and Neil all headed super early to Osaka to spend Christmas Eve at Japan's copy of Universal Studios. As we queued up, our excitedness reached silly six-year-old child levels as we saw the tracks of a giant rollercoaster that had not been alluded to in any promotional paraphenelia, but the anticipation subsided when it appeared unopened (it turns out the ride, Hollywood Dream, is scheduled for a Spring 2007 opening). Nevertheless, there was plenty more to keep us occupied. As the only Universal Studios veteran (and something of a theme park expert), I decided we should head to the end of the park first and then work our way back, as the queues wouldn't be so long as those for the entrance. And it seemed to pay off. So here's my attraction-by-attraction breakdown for everything we did, with a final score based on actual enjoyment versus waiting time.Jurassic Park - as we queued, I learned the Chinese for dinosaur (konglong - which means scary dragon, but also is used to insult a woman so ugly, men flee in terror from her). We refused the ponchos, as it was rather sunny and we'd have the whole day to dry off. The actual ride was just as good as I remembered, with some impressive anamatronics. When the T-Rex appears, everyone screamed, but the final drop was truly terrifying! 9/10
Jaws - a shark adorned with a festive garland hung outside as a photo-op. I pretended to kiss the anus of a wooden frog. This was a proper ride unlike the version in Hollywood which is embedded as part of the studio tour. What a great job it'd be to be the ride tourguide! You get to chat, interact and act, weild a (fake) shotgun, sail through explosions and kill a shark! 8/10
Waterworld - it seems Coca-Cola still rules the seas in the future thanks to their ride sponsorship (with signs in English, Japanese, Thai and Chinese). Kudos to all involved, getting very wet on a cold December day. A little bizarre to see it all in Japanese, but mighty impressive stunt work and hammy comedy villains. The Kevin Costner-alike looked like he'd eaten several Christmas lunches beforehand judging by his quick-tiredness and running speed, and I could've sworn the final climatic plane crash was bigger in the States, but I guess I was just smaller. 7/10
Terminator 2: 3-D - pff! Did you really think that waiting time would scare us? Actually, we were in within an hour. The intro from the CybderDyne host was just as good in Japanese as in English, with Californian lips and teeth replaced with insincere customer subservience you see everyday here. The 3-D footage made my eyes go funny at the start, but it was soon business as usual, with Arnie and co taking out all kinds of robots and gloopy metal monsters. 8/10E.T. Adventure - the biggest mistake of the day. This time, the waiting time was a genuine three hours or so (I lost track - but we played several rounds of 20 Questions and I phoned Jona in Hokkaido). But the real reason I wanted to go was because E.T. says your name at the end; what better opportunity to exploit foreign lack of understanding to make everyone's favourite alien say a naughty word! But which one to choose? Nothing too obvious or vile I thought, and something that might sound like a name to the untrained ear. So I decided on good old Twat! As we finally made it to the entrance, we had to tell a member of staff our name: "Um...Twat?". "Towato?" comes the reply. "Hai...T...W...". She begins to type and I can't finish, such is my attempt to stifle my sniggering. She hands me my 'passport' which we present to another member of staff before we board our 'bicycles' for the ride. The actual ride is a somewhat uninspiring chase as we try to escape robot police officers before heading into space, whereupon we use our magic to save E.T.'s homeworld and all the disgusting creatures that live there (which I pretend to shoot with my finger-gun like the grown up I am - hell, I've already pretended my name is a swear). It's like Steven Spielberg's It's A Small World After All, and I want out as soon as it's over. But then comes the moment we've all been waiting for! There's E.T. - and he calls us one by one, and then: "Meerriii Kurisumasu...TWAT". Joy and rapture! But it only slightly makes up for the rest. 4/10
Back to the Future - a little long a wait but we got to hear all the great tracks from the trilogy's soundtrack. I got a little bored in the queue, and decided to do this (listen out at the end for Baptiste's WTFing):
4-D Cinema - with only a 20 minute queue and Spider-Man closed (which Haruna has since told me is the best ride there), we said 'what the hey?' and headed off to see Shrek's 4D Adventure (4 dimensions basically meaning you wear 3D glasses, but your seat shakes and you get squirted with water). But as we were ushered in, expecting a choice of what to catch, it became clear we were going to be watching Sesame Street 4-D Movie Magic instead. To be honest, I wasn't hugely disappointed - I can imagine a Shrek short would involve another bout of embarassing karaoke numbers. We stood craning our necks up at the screen for the intro that went on far too long. Once we sat down in the cinema, the actual film was quite fun, and worth it just to see Cookie Monster eat a giant U.F.C (Unidentifed Flying Cookie). In 4-D! 5/10
Aside from the attractions, we also got to see the tallest Christmas tree in Japan, we met the REAL Hello Kitty (I'm positive it was her!), I stood on a very young girl's foot (by accident, I'll have you know), my body-popping was better than someone who does it for a living (but I was hesitant to demonstrate as I wouldn't have wanted him to lose his job) I ate a very sloppy Mos Burger, and we entertained ourselves listening to a mad drunkard on the train back to Kyoto.
It was an enjoyable day out, but the main problem (excepting the inevitable queues and over-priced food, drinks and souvenirs) was that everything felt a good 15 years old, while the park was only now celebrating its 5th anniversary. As the majority of rides are based on the U.S. rides, themselves based on 20-30 year old films, it felt somewhat outdated. Even the video introductions featuring younger Spielbergs, Schwarzeneggers and, um, Thomas F. Wilsons dubbed into Japanese, were a bit old hat. Never mind, I was full of festive cheer, and ready for proper Chrimbles!
Monday 25th December: Christmas Day
I woke up around 9am, and opened my stocking in bed while listening to Christmas Carols. I also opened two presents, and ate a big breakfast while watching Peep Show and Hamish's stunning performance of 'Hey There, Panda Bear' from the Millfield Showcase (genuinely brought tears to me eyes). I then called Baptiste to check our plans for the day, and we headed out into Shijo for shopping and (what I thought was going to be) a late lunch. We met Parn and then later Haruna, and I bought a 2007 desktop calendar, then headed to Meidi-Ya store to check out the foreign foods they had in stock. Most of them were just American brand equivalents of already readily purchasable goods in Japan (do you really need US Doritos when Japanese Doritos are exactly the same?), but at least they had Marmite (and a Triforce logo). I decided to get a tin of chilli and a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels.
It had since become clear late lunch was to be supper instead, and while there was a bit of confusion assembling the rest of our party and a one hour wait before we could be seated, we finally got into the restaurant for my first yakiniku feast - two hours of all you can eat and drink, in which you barbecue platters of meat and vegetables over a charcoal grill. Yummy. It made up for a lack of a traditional Christmas roast, but a phone-call from home during our meal was a welcome treat. Absolutely stuffed, half headed home, while me, Baptiste and Neil headed to Round One for a bout of arcade gaming. I won Mario Kart GP as usual (despite forgetting how to drift), then played AfterBurner Climax (which was super-confusing and hard), before plucking up the courage to give GuitarFreaks and DrumMania both a go. Beginner modes only, but I think I've got the hang of them both and I'm itching to give them another shot. We then realised we had 10 minutes to catch our last train! Convinved we wouldn't make it in time, we decided to forgo our pass and take the different line as it had later trains, then change at Tambabashi - which thankfully turned out okay. Phew! Despite it being 1am, I stayed up to make raspberry jelly for tomorrow like a proper host would.Tuesday 26th December: Boxing Day
This morning gave me the chance to finish opening all the lovely cards and envelopes that had been sent and for which I was most grateful. Thank you everybody! I then headed to the supermarket for provisions, and ate a little lunch while watching the Queen's Speech online. Unfortunately, today was very wet indeed, and I had invited my friends all the way out to Mukaijima in the pouring rain for food, drink, games and movies. But the weather hadn't dampened our spirits, and we gathered round anyway, snacking on chocolates, nuts, mince pies, crisps and the jelly I'd made. However, it was Baptiste's stellar crêpe-making skills that won us all over. Absolutely oishi with jam and sugar - c'etait delicieux, Monsieur Retailleau!We then got together and played (in Japanese) the You Say We Pay Interactive DVD game Hamish had got me for Christmas. It was a lot of fun, but slightly hampered by the fact that many of the visual clues were of British television personalities, which made it exceptionally tricky for my French, Thai and Chinese opponents (the Impressions round was a disaster - only the presence of Kermit the Frog and Arnold Schwarzenegger won us any You Saw We Pay pounds; but what a crossover film that'd be!). We then watched Bad Santa, which I think got it's point across despite the (harsh) language barrier - wisely, the only phrase Ilan decided to adopt was "Are you insane?". We then braved the rain to take the train saying "Are you insane?" all the way to Shijo for a karaoke session avec Neil and his two friends. While the majority continued well into the night, I wasn't in all-nighter mood and Parn had to call home, so we left before the price was hiked up. It had been a knackering few days, but a well-earned chance to kick back and forget about work...just as typing all this up has put back my work schedule by a good few hours. Bah! I'll start properly tomorrow, right?
Wow, almost 3000 words. If only my dissertation could be about 'stuff that happened' with no analysis or research - I'd be set!
To see loads more pictures from my days out and in, visit my Flickr page.
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